See ID

Hubby and I went out on a lunch date yesterday to Fridays.

Remember back in the day when Fridays had super peppy servers with all the flair? Our server was a throwback to the golden days of Fridays flair. Flair = fun, right? That's what we learned from Office Space. What he lacked in actual flair (because Fridays is far to upscale for flair these days) he made up for in enthusiasm. Flair aura, if you will.

"Hey guys, I'm Todd, I'll be takin' care of ya today. Can I start you off with somethin' to drink? Perhaps one of our famous lemonade slushes [editors note: famous in what circles?]."

"Water for me." "Sweet tea, please."

"Good good! I'll be right out with those beverages, guys!" *knocks on the table with his fingertips*

You know. One of those guys. And if he was legally able to buy an adult beverage, I'd be shocked, is how young he looked. Clearly he took his Fridays training very seriously. He probably took notes. He probably keeps a training crib sheet tucked safely inside his notebook he uses to write down people's orders.

Anyway, we order, he brings our food, we eat, it's good and all. He checks on us 14 million times and refills our drink and does everything right, even if he's sort of driving me crazy with all the fake enthusiasm for the state of our lunch.

He brings the check and my hubby pulls out the Discover (card that pays you back).

This is where I need to tell you a critical piece of information about my husband. He has a name that has become popular as a girls name in the recent past. Often, if you do a search for his name, several young teenage girls will also show up in the results. He's used to it by now, but I still get real pissy about it the same way I do when someone calls me Allison or Amber instead of Amanda.

Todd the server comes back with the card and stands next to me while looking at my husband and says the following:

"So, does [insert my husband's name here] know she is paying for your lunch today?"

Silence.

Crickets.

You could hear a pin drop.

We weren't sure what to say. Was he suggesting we stole the credit card? Was he trying to be funny because my husband handed him the card with what he thought had my name?

Hubby said slowly, "well. That....is...me...."

The kid turned about 18 shades of red and asked to see my husband's ID, since the credit card does say "See ID" on the back. I'm not sure why he didn't just see ID to start out with. Maybe he was just trying to be personable. Maybe he knew I was getting the afternoon sleepies and I needed something to get my blood boiling. He definitely failed at the first and succeeded at the second.

Here is how I felt about it:

The take-away here? Use your context clues. If a man pulls a credit card with a basketball design on it out of his wallet, it's probably his. Sometimes men have girlie sounding names and always see ID first, just in case.

Ten ways to make me happy

In an effort to keep up with my blog while I'm getting back in the groove, I decided to start using some prompts from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. I've been reading them all over the blogosphere (yes, Blogger, that's a word) and have always been impressed with what bloggers come up with. So here it goes:

Kat asked us to write a list of 10 things that make us smile when we're unhappy. I'm a simple girl and simple things make me happy. I don't need to spend a lot of money or go to some elaborate lengths for a grin. Here is my list, least smiley to most smiley.

10. Dairy Queen. Specifically, their new Double Fudge Cookie Dough Blizzard. I ate so many of these during my pregnancy that it's no wonder my baby came out 8 lbs 10 oz. I know food doesn't equal happiness, but sometimes when you're in a crappy mood, nothing but chocolate can do the trick.

9. Shopping clearance sales. I'm not a shopper by nature. I can't just go into a store and browse and buy some regular priced merch. That's not for me nor my bank account. Clearance? That's another animal. I get such a charge from finding great deals and markdowns and it always lifts my spirits. Kohls is my favorite place to find clearance stuff. I'm proud to say almost my whole closet consists of clothing items that are $10 or less.

8. A nice, hot shower. There is something so calming about a hot shower, especially when you add in good smelling soaps and lotions after. Plus, tears just combine with the water. Good place for a cry.

7. Listening to country music. I know it can be hokey. I know it's not for everyone. But for some reason, it always makes me grin -- especially the songs about drinking, small down life and having fun. It reminds me of a simpler time, when my girlfriends and I spent Thursday nights at the Wild Dawg Saloon, having a blast and line-dancing the night away.

6. Buying new makeup. But Amanda, this is buying something. YOU ARE A LIAR. Well, this is different. I love shopping online for makeup from a store called Eyes Lips Face. Almost all their stuff is $1 or less. Not only is it good quality and a good value, but it makes me feel pretty and that's important when you can't find the time for mascara anymore.

5. Running. Lord, it's been a long time since I had a good, long run. In fact, it's been since before we bought our house, a year and a half ago. I always loved getting on the treadmill and running my anxieties out, and being a new Mom, I'm full of anxieties. I got a treadmill for Christmas and I'm ready to get running again. My goal is to be able to run a 5k before the Breast Cancer runs start in October. That gives me 9 months to get in shape.

4. Dinner out. Which is interesting because usually cooking dinner in is what gives me the sads in the first place. There's something about having someone else cook, serve me and clean up that gets me grinning.

3. TV. Like, pretty much any kind of mindless television. Reality TV (obs), sitcoms, old sitcoms (I'm looking your direction Golden Girls marathon on WE), E! Television, shows about bringing babies home, the list goes on and on.

2. My husband. He has an uncanny ability to make me laugh no matter how sad or angry I am. It's helped him avoid a plethora of arguments over the years and has also kept me sane. He knows exactly what to say to take me from tears to laughter, and he's one of the funniest people I know. His humor is so silly and unexpected that you can't help but smile.

1. My son. His smile makes me smile, his cry makes me smile (well -- you know...) his sweet, breathy coos make me smile.

Let's talk about value. Hamburger value.

Where did this week go? I just realized I hadn't posted a blog since last Friday. It's like in my head I was blogging but in reality I wasn't.

So, sorry about that. Besides work business, I've been suffering from a FUN HANGOVER after our weekend trip down Orlando way. This was our last hurrah because our seasonal passes expire and we aren't going to renew right now because of the BABAY.

I'd like to tell y'all a little story about our dinner in Orlando Sunday on the way back at a place called Five Guys Burgers. It's a chain, but I don't think there are all that many locations. They sell hamburgers with lots of different toppings, thick cut french fries (with optional cajun seasoning), I think hot dogs and drinks. That's it.

The walls are all decorated with their own kudos. Like every time they were mentioned in any magazine when the chain started, the owners made copies for every franchise to hang on the walls, and when I say that I mean ALL walls, like all up and down the counter, in the bathrooms, wherever there is a vertical surface there is either a copied newspaper article or quotes from said articles in 1000 point red type. It's a little on the tacky side; I mean, just let the tasty burgers speak for themselves, ya know?

The most mind boggling thing about the decor is the articles don't proclaim them to be the best TASTING burgers or most UNIQUE burgers, but the best VALUE in burgers. There are two problems with this:

1. Walmart stuff is value. Publix bogos are a value. Redbox machines are a value. But there's something about a restaurant focusing on value rather than taste that just seems wrong to me. I mean, we can all agree that McDonalds hamburgers wont' break the bank, but we can also agree that they will make you feel like death. Right?
2. FIVE GUYS BURGERS IS NOT A VALUE. Join me as I weave this tale of overpriced food:

Hubby and I were tired, cranky and ready to get home. It was 9 and they closed at 10 so I'm sure they felt the same. We walked in and the first thing the guy said to us was, "WE'RE OUT OF CHEESE!" like that was the determining factor in us staying or leaving (as that was no option because it was the only place open). And I'm all, well that's a bummer, I guess I'll just get something beside cheese. Hubby ordered his bacon hamburger and I ordered mine with mushrooms and onions. Then the guys says to me, "WE'RE OUT OF MUSHROOMS TOO! EVERYTHING BUT MUSHROOMS AND CHEESE!" I'm all eye-rolly with him but changed my order to onions and mustard only. Then Hubby tries to pay with our Discover card and he says, "Hm, it says 'not a valid transaction, THAT'S SO WEIRD" and about that time Hubby realized they dont' take Discover card.

Cearly we're dealing with Einstein over here working at Five Guys, but I  decided to go into mini-meltdown mode and said "You've GOT to be kidding me right now. I have to walk away." I sat down and started steaming about it mumbling about how a HAMBURGER PLACE can possibly run out of cheese. There wasn't a store you could run out to and grab a hunk of cheese before your supply truck rolls in? No? not even the Quiznos next door?

Hubby brings the food to the table and hands me the receipt for.....$17 BUCKS.

Excuse me, but in what universe is $17 for two burgers, one fry and one drink a value? I'm going to refer back to my breakfast chart from last blog:

It should be easy to understand why I had such a fit. I feel like a chart would also best represent my feelings after this meal:

Before we left, I went to the bathroom and discovered why Five Guys were so delusional in thinking the food there was a good value. I was washing my hands and reading one of the articles when I noticed the publishing date -- 1996. The article stated that Five Guys had one heck of a burger and a good value, too: only $1.75 for two big, juicy, fresh, hand-pattied burgers. I read some others -- 1990, 2001, 1998 -- not one media outlet has proclaimed them BEST VALUE in at least 8 years. Maybe it's because one hamburger now costs $4.50! I mean let me just hand you my wallet and pin number so you can take all of my money! It's good but not that good! Bev's Better Burgers in this podunk little city near us is just as good -- if not better -- and her burgers cost $2!

My rage turned to pity when I saw this:

It just.....it explains a lot. I'll leave it at that.

Then yesterday we were on a quest to find some shorts that I can button and saw a building under construction that looked eerily like the Five Guys decor...sure enough: Gainesville is getting a Five Guys. I am encouraging all my friends here to mortgage their houses so they can try it at least once.

Have y'all heard of this place? What do you think?