Let's discuss this situation again, shall we?

On Friday I wrote a post defining the word asshat. I think I need to revisit this topic, even though talking about the Jersey Shore really gives me a creepy restless legs syndrome type feeling. 

This picture has to be a sign of the Apocalypse. 

Firstly, it turns out that the Situation himself, Mr. Mike Sorrentino, PHD, Esquire, President of the Misogynists of America club, man about town, did not actually follow my husband on Twitter. It's actually a fan of Mike Sorrentino who just tweets about his performance on Dancing With the Stars. I wish there was more to that story and trust me, I tried. I followed the person myself and attempted to bait her with derogatory comments about DWTS but alas, nothing. It's really disappointing, but the good, Twitter news is that Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus are now following me on Twitter, so get your Christmas wishes and dreams into my comments section ASAP.

Secondly, I'd like to delve in a little deeper to the nickname "the Situation". There are things that can be considered a situation and other things that are not so much a situation.

SITUATION: Some baked beans that have been sitting in your fridge for about a month and a half and have become a really disgusting science experiment.. Neither you nor your husband have the iron clad fortitude to dump out the beans into the trash and clean the Tupperware, and at the same time are so committed to your Tupperware that you don't want to just toss it. Thus, a situation.

NOT A SITUATION: Mike Sorrentino's abdominal muscles.

SITUATION: Being 8 months pregnant and not being able to physically roll over in bed without substantial effort, and then you realize your phone is in the other room, so the options are to use every last ounce of energy and effort to get the phone or play "When will my phone die?" all day the next day. Thus, a situation.

NOT A SITUATION: Mike Sorrentino's "little Mike Sorrentino" if you catch my drift. 

SITUATION: You're an investment banker who lost his job and now has to deliver pizzas for Papa Johns.You're driving down the street and realize something.....is missing....and that's when you realize you dropped the pizza hot bag or whatever it's call, WITH a pizza, in the middle of a busy intersection AT rush hour, and have to park your car in traffic, sprint 500 yards in your Papa John's shirt and visor, pick up the pizza and hope nobody realizes that you screwed up probably the easiest job in the world. Thus, a situation that I actually witnessed yesterday after work.

NOT A SITUATION:  Relying on your quickly fleeing and questionable "good looks" to pick up women instead of having a personality in any way, shape or form. 

OMG look what I found in my search for some Mike Sorrentino pictures on Google  Machine!

Epic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The phrase "What situation, exactly?" has blown up like WILDFIRE on the Interwebs (and, I'd like to believe helped me get promoted in the nerd mafia). I'd like you to just try it on for size. Let it burn into your brain like so many STDS burn up the urethra's of the Jersey Shore folks. It fits almost all situations. See what I did there? Some examples:

AT WORK: "Shoot." "What's the situation, exactly?" "My fax won't go through."

WHILST WATCHING TV: "Who do you want to be kicked off DWTS?" "I want the situation to be that The Situation gets kicked off." *which is an actual conversation my sister and I just had via text*

I'm sure y'all can think of more.

BIG BLOGWORTHY NEWS. Thursday, get ready for a first on this site....my first sponsored, coast-to-coast, taste test VLOG. That's right, a vlog. I had to wait for a good hair day before I committed to that mess. Get READY to taste it!