Some Florida winter truths for you guys who think I'm a wuss

I'm writing this from my couch, where every square inch of my body is covered with some type of fleece, topped with a thick blanket.

It's pretty much Armageddon here, people. We've only had two days above 70 degrees since December. I can't tell you how many days we've had below freezing because my brain is frozen. FROZEN SOLID.

I was looking back on some old blogs and found this one where I was complaining incessantly about how hot it was back in October, so I will take the blame for this one. I should have learned my lesson my first winter here when I posted a really snotty message about wearing flip flops in January and it proceeded to drop into the low 50s for, like, a week.

And I thought THAT was bad.

Listen, I know. You guys and your 40 inches of snow or whatever. I've been reading your blogs, I know all about how stir crazy you're getting and how you haven't seen the ground for weeks. And trust me, I feel very sad for all of you. It's no fun living in Northern states where you're at the Mother Nature's mercy for 4 months out of the year. My deepest sympathies to you.

That's why I moved to Florida.

I can hear it now. "Poor little Floridian," you will say. "Why don't you go cry a river of tears into your lightweight jacket because the brilliant Florida sun will just dry them in 2.2 seconds?"

However, (and please, Southern readers, back me up on this), I've learned two things about surviving winters in the South.

First, 40 degrees in Florida feels way colder than 40 degrees up north. My father-in-law used to make fun of us for talking about throwing on a sweatshirt if it gets a little cool until he came down to visit during our first cold snap of the season around Christmas. It was such sweet justification when he said to me, "You know...I don't know what it is, but it feels much colder what I'm reading on the thermometer." TOLD YOU SO.

I have no clue why this happens, but I know it's not just me. My coworker said it was the higher humidity that makes it feel cold, but we're in marketing, not meteorology, so it's pretty much a shot in the dark.

Second truth about Florida winters -- well, more specifically, about Floridians: our blood has thinned out considerably. I mean it really has to happen and if you've visited Florida in, say, August, you'll know why. It's a survival mechanism. You can't have the blood of a Northerner churning through your veins when it's 95 degrees and 98% humidity or you'll die. Um, it's basically biology, you guys. But the downside is when we have freakishly cold winters, we pretty much freeze to death.

Oh also? I have a closet full of warm weather clothes that I can't even think about wearing and about 7 sweaters I've been wearing on repeat for over a month. Maybe that explains why I'm eating every fattening food that crosses my path -- I'm adding some winter blubber, much like a walrus.

That reminds me, did you know that there were a bunch of manatees that were in danger of freezing to death, too (just like me), because the water in South Florida was too cold? And some of them did? Sad face for the manatees (do NOT click on that link unless you want to cry.)

Here is me two years ago: "Oh, how precious, they have a Winter Weather Advisory crawl on TV."
Here is me today: "OMG it's going to frost tonight! Quick, get the extra sheets so we can cover our plants!"

Anyway, I hope, on behalf of all the weather-weary bloggers, that it warms the heck up and SOON.