Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Loaner Phone Part 2: Text message bonanza

I'm used to having lots of apps to play with on my smart phone, including Twitter, Facebook and TMZ. Now that we have a baby in tow, there are times when Hub will run in to a store and leave us in the car, especially if the baby is sleeping. I missed my Samsung Moment the most when we were running errands.

I was sitting in the car at Lowes getting bored while Hub shopped and the baby slept. What to do, what to do? I decided to take a virtual tour around my Loaner Phone and see what I could get into. They weren't able to download my contact list to this phone, so the only numbers I had were those of the people who had already texted me. I scrolled further and realized that not only were the contacts still in the phone, all the text messages were, too.

Hot diggity dog!

This guy's whole world was opened in front of me. Not a word was spelled right, unless it had something to do with drugs. More wuz, ur, bros, brahs, kno, wat, wassups, dams than you can shake a stick at. There were pleads for more weed, lots of text flirting and this little number:

White Girl T: Gas is $4 a gallon I'll take u but u gotta put $15 in my gas
PG (Phone Guy): I am good man dam like

Then there is this one, which I'm still trying to figure out:

Back Door: Im at rondia house now bruh come threw ima buy what i can frm ya when i get in.

(Buy what, pray tell? Probably selling some Tupperware or something.. Yeah, that must be it.)

And this one:

PG: Dis me way u at?!

But nothing is quite as spectacular as the text fights between PG and what appears to be his number one lady love, in the contacts as "My Bay". From the look of these text messages, I think they have the same kind of relationship me and my Samsung Moment have.

My Bay: So i guess i'm suppose to be dumb all of a sudden your phone has no service you couldn't talk to me while in the house your phone hung up you don't call back one thing about it mama didnt raise no fool it hasn't been the same its cool though i pick up on stuff very quickly just kno i kno

The next day....

My Bay: Luv u hope you have a good day today
PG: Thank you bay and u too
My Bay: Missin you bae

The next day.....

My Bay: You can keep your attitude you get mad for stupid reasons i swear damn but you say i like to argue besides my baby still runnin a fever ask questions first

And it goes on and on and on. It was fascinating. In fact, when Hub got back into the car that night he was all, what are you looking at? And I'm like, THE MOST AMAZING SERIES OF TEXT MESSAGES EVER. I mean, I couldn't make this stuff up.

I can't say I was too incredibly sad to see Loaner Phone go yesterday, but I can say that I erased all my OWN texts before I sent it in.

18 comments:

Unknown said... Reply to comment

BWhahahah if I didn't know any better that sounds like the crap our former houseguest would have had on his phone..

Alison said... Reply to comment

Hahahahahaha! So funny. I wish you could list the entire series. I am going a little cock-eyed trying to decipher half of those messages......

Little redhead said... Reply to comment

Wow lol, that is some crazy relationshop your orginal phone dude and his 'my bay' have. And those texts are typed insanely, can't understand half of it :D

Sheba Joyce said... Reply to comment

From that first text message you have there I have concluded that PG is not a drug dealer--he is a cave man.

The Random Blogette said... Reply to comment

YES! I am so excited that there were some text messages left in there!! I just knew it. And uh, yeah, they were totally buying Tupperware and maybe some Party Lite candles!

MrsJenB said... Reply to comment

LOL I'm dying here! That phone was a gift, it truly was. No apps on it, but a whole new world was opened up nonetheless.

Mommy A. said... Reply to comment

Hilarious. But I have to say it: proper grammar is dying a slow and painful death...One day we will a kno dat is so tru...

Anonymous said... Reply to comment

I love stuff like that. I would have been too sad to see that phone go! Thank you for making my day a little more giggly.

Tracie Nall said... Reply to comment

That is just too good!

LOL

Jessica said... Reply to comment

HILARIOUS! Thanks for sharing your good fortune of entertaining texts with us LOL!

Julie said... Reply to comment

Oh. My.

Dis me way u at?!

That may be my favorite question of all time. Well, technically, I suppose it combines a statement AND a question in one fabulous run-on.

I can't wait to start utilizing this line of texting with my husband.


It's good to have goals.

(p.s. "way" for "where"? Still can't absorb the genius!)

May 3, 2011 5:30 PM

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Elena Wollborg said... Reply to comment

Hilarious. I would've sat there for days reading them! Days!

tara said... Reply to comment

wow, bay (or bae?), this just keeps getting better!

Stephanie in Suburbia said... Reply to comment

Ok, so first of all? You need a cryptographer for this crap. Like I still don't understand half of it!

I usually use Twitter or play Word Mole when I'm in the car for long periods. I'm a frigging wizard at Word Mole. But now I want to write cryptic text messages for posterity.

This seriously made my day. I saved this for after my first glass of post-baby bedtime wine just b/c I knew it would be the highlight of my night.

Is that sad?

Anonymous said... Reply to comment

It boggles my mind people talk like that over text. I must b old skool cuz i dnt evn kno how 2 wrte like tht! ;)

Nice find - glad it entertained you - it entertained all of us too apparently!

Lisa said... Reply to comment

That is fabulous! Thank you for sharing and making my night a little funnier :)

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said... Reply to comment

Oh my gosh! This is like a gold mind of text messages!!!! You might read the others to us! I bet he was just looking for some tupperware like you said.... HAHA!

Shell said... Reply to comment

That is too funny!

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