Understanding the Black Eyed Peas: Not for the faint of heart

I'm watching the Grammys and my brother-in-law just posted this on Facebook:

 

Keep in mind, my brother-in-law teaches physics and is a super smart dude, so if he doesn't get it, how do any of the rest of us have a chance?

See, the Black Eyed Peas are just weird. Everytime I see a live performance with the Peas, I'm all, "Is this real life? Am I dreaming? Quick, somebody wake me up, it seems I felt into a deep sl....Oh, nevermind, it's just the Black Eyed Peas performing in their robot suits again."

Listen, before you Peas fans start screaming at me with your caps locks on, I really like them. Every time I hear a Peas song, I want to get up off my butt and dance. In fact, they are a favorite on my workout songs list. But as my friend Jody said, the Black Eyed Peas are definitely a studio produced group.  They sound way better on the radio or your ITunes player than, for instance, up on stage at the Grammys. And I think they know that, so instead of trying hard to sound good they just do crazy stuff, like wear freaky clothes and masks and dance like crazy people. It's like, "Look here! Now there! Now we're rapping! Woops, Fergie lost her clothes! More rapping! An explosion! Song's over!" and you don't think things like, "Hm, that sounds different than normal..."

This is a completely opposite phenomenon than Lady GaGa, who sounds amazing but wears buzz-worthy clothes so people will -- well -- buzz about her. 

A good metaphor for the Black Eyed Peas is like when you take some Nyquil and don't move a muscle for 8 hours, but your brain comes up with the strangest dreams all night, most of which you remember. When you wake up you say to your friends and loved ones, "I had the oddest dream last night. The Black Eyed Peas were performing and Fergie had a metal golf visor and Wil I Am was wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask, and then these robots came on stage and started dancing with them." But would you be able to say anything about what they said or sang? Probably not. You were too distracted by the robots. 

Try it -- next time you see a Black Eyed Peas performance, call up your best friend and explain it to them but don't tell them the group was the Peas, then ask, "Was what I just described to you something I really watched, or do you think it was a dream?"  Nine times out of ten they'll guess a dream. Is my prediction.

The point of the Peas is that there is no point. Listen to the lyrics next time you get a chance. "Them chickens jackin' my style"? "I'm on the supersonic boom, y'all hear the spaceship zoom"? Poetic, really. Beatles, eat your hearts out.

And that, my friends, is how to understand the Black Eyed Peas.