Wonder what would happen if I ate nothing but cheese fries forever

Awhile ago at work, my coworker threw out this question: What would you choose as your last meal?

 EASY. Anything that's on an appetizer menu at a bar.

But I wanted to get more specific today and share my favorite foods and favorite places to get these delectable  items.

Cheese Fries

This is probably hands down my favorite guilty pleasure. I really enjoy me some cheese fries, y'all. My old stomping ground back in WV had these on the menu and it was a tradition to order them with our beer. The ones I like best are a little fat, lightly salted and covered with cheddar cheese. I'm talking so much cheese that it gets all melty down in the mound of fries, and when you pull a fry out of the pile, a big string of cheese attaches itself to the fry.

I've seen them with a variety of add-ons: jalepenos, bacon, chives. (no thank you, ok in small amounts, YES PLEASE). Hubby is a bacon fan, but I can take it or leave it on my cheese fries. And if you don't give me a mess of ranch dressing to dip my fries in, you're dead to me.

Now the best and worst cheese fry locations:

BEST - Fat Patty's (Huntington, WV) and Chili's (tie)- Fat Patty's is a place none of you know about because it's in West Virginia and it's not like it's a hub of excitement and intrigue. I know Jennifer has, so maybe she can add her two cents. Fat Patty's fries are "beer battered", which means they have a crispy outer shell that gives an extra flavor profile to the fries. Heaven.  Almost heaven, if you will. The cheese is always plentiful and melted just the right amount and they add chives (bonus).

Chilli's was the upset here, narrowly beating out the Honorable Mention. It's a recent find for me. Chilli's has a new special where you can get an appetizer and a meal for $10 per person. We tried their fancy-pants cheese fries as one of our apps and it was AMAZING. Points were deducted because it includes jalepenos, but all was forgiven because I took a bite of what I thought was a fat fry and it was actually cheese. Amazing.




HONORABLE MENTION - Texas Roadhouse -They do have some pretty tasty cheese fries, but they aren't consistently good. One trip you hit the cheese jackpot, the next it's like, "is there any cheese on this?" Tragic. Oh, and once we found a hair in our cheese fries there, but we did get a coupon for a free appetizer next time we visited.

WORST - Beef-O-Brady's (Gainesville, FL and other FL locations) Com'on, Beefs, and your pathetic attempt at cheese fries. I mean I drop more cheese on the kitchen floor while grating than you even put on your fries. And, cheese is extra! So it's really not cheese fries so much as it is fries with cheese on them. There's a difference, people. AND ranch dressing is extra. Fail to you, Beefs. Big time fail.

Pizza

Every time I eat pizza I tell my husband that I could eat pizza every single day of my life and be satisfied. Of course, it has to be the right pizza. What does it for me? Crust that's not to thick, not too thin; plenty of sauce and cheese -- glorious, beautiful tasty cheese. It's good and good for you. The string test applies to this one, too: cut a slice, pull it up and if the cheese strings out, you're golden.

BEST - Giovonni's Pizza (Huntington, WV) - This is another local yokel favorite of mine and I've been thinking about it ever since Tracie mentioned she'd eaten there recently on a trip back to the boonies. This pizza makes my heart sing beautiful songs of love and harmony and my saliva flow like a babbling brook. It's just so good. The crust is thin and soggy from all the grease, which speaking of grease, get your napkins ready because you'll be dabbing grease of this bad boy way before you can take a bite -- just how I like it. And they have my favorite kind of sausage -- crumbly sausage. Just enough sausage to tide me over (that's what she said).

HONORABLE MENTION - Gino's Pizza (Huntington, WV) Same type of crust, but the cheese isn't quite as consistently gooey. It's hit or miss sometimes depending on the time and location.

BEST IN NORTHERN KENTUCKY - Snappy Tomato - This is a new one for me. Sarah ordered it for me while we were visiting them. She ordered it from a gas station (true story). But man, was it good. The cheese factor was phenomenal. And I love the name. How can you not be happy chowing down on a Snappy Tomato?

BEST IN GAINESVILLE - I {Heart} NY Pizza - I know what y'all are thinking, the name of this place is so ridiculously original, it must be run by some authentic Italian American former New Yorkers. And thats' where you'd be wrong because it's actually run by a family of Middle Eastern dudes. And they are super nice and make delicious, Giovonni's style pizza, so good that Hubby and I will drive 20 minutes out of our way to get it. That's pizza dedication, my friends.

WORST PIZZA - No such thing.

Ice Cream

I'm not typically a big ice cream eater, but when I get a hankerin' there isn't a thing better in this world than chocolate ice cream with peanut butter. I hope when I die, I die while eating this delicious treat.

BEST ICE CREAM - Cold Stone Peanut Butter Perfection - More calories than a person needs in a day, but worth getting fat for. Chocolate? Check. Peanut butter? Check. PEANUT BUTTER CUPS? Ch-heck. Chocolate fudge? Check.

WORST ICE CREAM - Publix Peanut Butter Cup - While "bad" ice cream is better than good vegetables any day of the week, this really didn't live up to my expectations. It's heavy on the chocolate (talk to me...) light on the peanut butter (and stop talking.)

So there you go, all my favorite foods that aren't good for me. What are your guilty pleasures?

fries image via | pizza image via